Tuesday, February 15, 2011

What a Finale!!

This is gonna be a little different than usual - this was an entry in a guest blog contest...and now you get to read it!

So you’ve got a killer beginning, a touching middle and a tension-filled climax…how do you end this soon-to-be-bestseller? Struggling with this question, I asked a few great writers what they’d do. Unexpected, satisfying or controversial, these stories end with a bang. *smacks head* now why didn’t I think of ending it that way…

“Make the hero love his big brother.” George O.
“Kill the last Mohican.” James F. C.
“Dude! Everyone’s monkeys here too!” Pierre B.
 “Have eagles pick up the hero and take him home.” J. R. R. T.
“Make the Queen fall out of love with the donkey-headed dude and go back to her husband. Everyone else gets married.” William S.
 “Give the dancer impossible lovers, like hunchbacks or priests. Don’t limit yourself—add soldiers and poets as needed. Then kill off a few of them.” Victor H.
“Rename all the guys Earnest. It’ll all work out.” Oscar W.
“The dudes get out of the cave with the money and are town heroes. But then they have to leave off their rascally ways and be civilized.” Mark T.
“The genius counts eighty-one, but it’s really only been eighty days.” Jules V.
 “The heroine doesn’t get the guy. But tomorrow is another day.” Margaret M.
“End the world. Send everyone to a Narnia-ish Englandy heaven.” C. S. L.
“Double wedding—with either the Dashwood or Bennet sisters.” Jane A.
“The three Laws don’t work.” Isaac A.
“Have a little kid say ‘God bless us, every one.’” Charles D.
“Kill the evil Lord by killing the hero, who then lives to get married and send his kids off to wizard school.” J. K. R.
“Have the young hero ride a magic merry-go-round to become an adult.” Cornelia F.
“The white whale wins.” Herman M.
“Make the red hero marry a purple instead of a grey.” Jasper F.
“Everyone starts gardening, quits thinking and they are finally happy.” Voltaire
“Kill the insane wife in a fire and give the hero temporary blindness.” Charlotte B.

List of titles:
1984
The Last Mohican
Planet of the Monkeys
Lord of the Rings, Return of the King
Mid-Summer Night’s Dream
The Hunchback of Notre Dame
The Importance of Being Earnest
The Adventures of Tom Sawyer
Around the World in Eighty Days
Gone With the Wind
The Chronicles of Narnia, The Last Battle
Sense and Sensibility/Pride and Prejudice
I, Robot
The Christmas Carol
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
The Thief Lord
Moby Dick
Shades of Grey
Candide
Jane Eyre

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